blogging in real life

I wrote this in jury duty when I was bored in my lil' ol' moleskin journal. I'm also not going to edit any of the bad grammar, so fuck it and fuck you.

5.18.09
I am 28 years old today. Well, for the past 6 months, too. Now I'm on the bus at 8am going to jury duty, in mufuckin' San Francisco where I live.

(short bus ride later)

Now I'm at jury duty. There is a lady eating sushi, and it is only 8:45am (PST). The room is laid out like a classroom without desks. There are rows of chairs (no desks), a few circular tables where some Asian dudes are chatting, and two AV-style TVs at the front of the room with a sign taped to them that reads, "For COURT use only." There are also bathrooms, which you can hear flushing. Nothin' like takin' a shit in a crowded room. I was supposed to be here at 8:30am and was worried when the bus was late that if I showed up at 8:31 (!!!) they would not let me in. That is not the case as the clock is nearly 9:00am and a steady stream of disappointed faces keep shuffling in. The Asian people are engaged in spirited conversation. I wonder if they are friends who coordinated jury duty to be the same day or they share the same Chinese gobbeldygook bond that I'll never understand. That isn't racist, it just sounds like gibberish. Ricky Gervais would agree. Sushi lady is still going strong, dipping her rolls in soy sauce and now she's texting someone on her phone. Maybe she is on Twitter.

OMG JURY DUTY?!? :(

I hope that's what it says. That or

THIS SUSHI ROX! :)

or

NE1 KNOE UR BIRTHSTONE?!?

That would be way better. Some lady is bringing assorted cables and wires into the room. Okay, now she left. The conversations have whittled down to a few muted observations and the occasional cough. Two people know each other. That's weird.

"I just came to say 'hi'."

Now they're calling names. Some disheveled man in a 49ers jacket just got up and responded to the name "Carol Jenner." He also has a fanny pack on and a NY Mets hat. Aaaand he's off! Oh, wait. He just sat down somewhere else. Okay, I'm done. I'm parano - IT STARTS!

9AM

Carol is giving orientation.

1:30(ish)PM

I'm still a potential juror. However, this room is packed to the gills with potential jurors, so I feel a little better. There are something like 400 people here. Holy shit! The room is so crowded that I've been packed into a corner facing other people. There's a video playing, but I can't see it because I'm in the corner. Like this:

(insert shitty drawing here)

It's weird, they're playing the exact same video we had to watch earlier. Lame, I don't get it. Oh well, I guess I'll sit here and sweat. Its hot, there are a million people here, and I'm wearing layers. Most of the people here are playing with their phones or reading a book. I downloaded The Oregon Trail and already beat it. $6.99 well spent.

I keep hearing toilets flushing.

Well-dressed men in suits wander the Halls of Justice.

Poorly-dressed men in coveralls fix their plumbing.

At this point, I think I was pretty far gone into bizarro jury selection land and my brain was shutting down. I also didn't get selected.